I may not be able study without having to worry about finances.

I may not have had a headstart in my education.

I may not have the computer literacy and competence I have now.

I may not have tasted wonderfully home cooked food from young.

Most importantly, I might actually end up being a screwed up person.

So, I just wanted whoever’s bothering to read my blog, to know that I love my parents.

I’m in the U.S. and my parents are probably worried about me every now and then, like most parents. But I think they worry more than they should. Nonetheless, I’m grateful they do.

What is humility? For the first time, I realise that humility does not just involve with being humble. For one can be humble without understanding why, or even worse, being humble because one should or because others desire such a trait in another (that is hypocrisy I detest).

I’ve learn that humility will come when you become aware AND when you are aware of how powerless you truly are. What does power have to do with humility? Isn’t humility about pride or arrogance? Yes, humility is the opposite of arrogance or a certain type of pride. But it’s a pride that revolves around power, around significance. When you make a difference, or think you do, you become proud. Proud of that difference or significance. And many a times, I have gotten caught up in what I can do, that I become proud of my perceived abilities.

And I know I have been arrogant from time to time. But I am now more aware of how truly powerless I can be. I am so powerless when it comes to things beyond my grasp, like when I felt so incompetent during one of my courses last term. And there are so many things beyond my control. And , while a little off tangent, if I’m so powerless in this world, I can imagine how truly powerless I am in the universe… in the presence of perhaps a higher entity, like God. Don’t get me wrong though, I still cannot fully subscribe to the idea of God’s existence.

But I know now… I have to balance my pride, my abilities over what I can control in my life, with the forces that surround me…